I told him not to struggle

We sent him in the hospital & was critically ill. He was just sleeping all the time though we could feel his heartbeat. 

He was hospitalized for several days & his condition didn't get better. His temperature is too low his on heat pack just to keep him going. 

Mummy came to pick me right after work to see him in the hospital. My heart broke.

We've all been sobbing late nights. Silly Debby who usually isn't aware of anything came to comfort me by snuggling me that night when I broke down. She knew smth about Korkor isn't right. 

Didn't go to work for days. Mummy & I visited boyboy but he could hardly walk. We found there were a lot of blood clots in his diapers. The vet spoke to us. She said there was nth much left to help. 

We were told to put him down the day after if his condition persists. & if we could bring him home awhile to say the last goodbye. 

Everyone came to visit him. Uncle told my mum to bring the dog out of the hospital & meet him 6pm sharp. That was the 1st day of 7th month. 

He said he told my ahgong to make a trip down to visit boyboy tgt. Gonggong dotes on boyboy the most. 

Boyboy could walk & drink water on his own that night. The hospital called the following morning. His kidneys got a little better. We brought him home bcos he couldn't eat. Mummy boiled porridge everyday using a syringe to feed. We prepared at least 10 medication to feed him twice a day. 

Mummy was too tired taking care of him. I didn't sleep well for the past days waking up in the middle of the night checking on him. 

My poor baby girl has been neglected & sleeps on her own knowing we were all too tired.

My friends have been with me to keep them updated. Thankyou for visiting boyboy & making trips down for me. I knw the time is almost up. Whatever it is, passing on at home for denzy with us is probably his last wish.

There is no forever.

I remember the very first time, many years back. I found this little pup whom was the quietest amongst the rest when I visited the pet store. 

I was deciding then whether to get a long coated King Charles or a short fur jack Russell. 

This was whom I picked. & my long commitment started ever since. 

I received a call from the clinic just a couple of steps away before reaching my classroom door. My dog's kidney is malfunctioning. 

Then how? 

Then the dog will die. 

My tears starts rolling hiding behind the toilet's cubicle. 

Denzy brought back many memories when we first brought him home. Back then, gong gong was staying with us. 

He objected the idea of keeping a dog, but soon was the one who accompanied & spoilt the dog the most. 

Gonggong looked after him while I was in sch. & then he'll walk the dog to the bus stop where my sch bus will alight me. 

Denzy was really smart. It didn't take long to toilet-trained him. He loves to play just like any puppy. 

His temper begin to show. He knows how to seek "shield" whenever he did something wrong by finding gonggong or my mom bcos he knew he'd escaped the scoldings. 

"不要打它啦" gonggong will say. 

& the dog will become aggressive each time he found his "shield". I had no choice but to walk away angrily. 

He'll grabbed my clothes to the living room. Just to show around how he manage to grab my clothes & only to run underneath the bed when you shouted his name. He's an attention seeker. 

Few nights ago, I was told we don't have much time left. His tumor didn't shrink enough as what was expected. Seeing him suffer was heartbreaking everyday for my family. 

He hates his medicine. He knows in between that piece of nugget was a rlly awful taste of his med. 

He shivers so hard each time we bathed him. We wrapped him with many layers of blanket. & even warmth him with the hairdryer. 

This is my commitment. & I'm responsible for you. I'm doing what I can do best despite my regular routine of work & classes. 

& im holding this commitment to your last breath. 

You're the bravest boy I ever had.