It's suffocating.

I couldn't take the stress I gave up trying to brace myself at work today. Got myself mc to take a good rest at home. Unfortunately, it didn't get any better. Set me into so much thinking and realise how tough it is being me. People work hard, I work extra hard. They succeed, I fail. People fall in love, they believe in everlast love. I fall in love, I see the ugliest truth. Why is it that things always don't go my way even though I'm trying so hard for a good change? I don't fucking understand. Can't anyone see I'm trying to tough !?

I'm starting to believe life's fucking unfair to me. I don't always make such ridiculous statements, when I do, I fucking mean it. How long do anyone wants me to toughen myself up? How difficult do you want my obstacles to be? Just fucking tell me! I had enough of facing hostile faces at work. Just one day I will breakdown and end all this. You think being tough is easy when I don't even pack my room and discipline myself everyday in the past? I make changes and put in effort to waking up every morning before 7am without fail to work. I sleep early, clean up my room, walk my dogs. I'm leading the life everyone wouldn't believe Sharlene Lau can do it. It just wouldn't go easy on me, JUST WOULDN'.T

Fuck this shit.

Nothing gets better.

Hi. I don't wish to speak anything unhappy here today. I've another day to rest well so yeah. Let's talk anything else except work this week. Met up with couple of friends for dinner. Thank God for them knowing they will always be there though my busy schedule. (:

Monday's dinner with quek love at sengkee mee sua with our usual faves. This silly is the last person to know my workplace location and made him stalk my check ins to pick me up for dinner :

It's been a decade since I last ate the food there, & got major craving and so there we are. Stay out before midnight and got so much to catch up all the time. So much about life & our changes. Oh sigh. 

Tue's dinner at chomps with ros, ding and some boys. & then to desserts shop to chill out. Only agreed to stay longer as it's off day on wed! Whee. :

Saturday was half day at work. Nex with le till evening and finally visited fiona baby girl at yong en's place with her belated full month's gift. Found some photos on wedding's photos:

There are many more but I'm lazy enough to snap. So it was hk cafe with yong en, jinyao & xinyi to chill our saturday night away. So glad I've met up with a couple of friends though I'm so uptight with my schedules. I need a good rest now. I'm utterly drained & depressed. Shan't say further. Luck hasn't been on my side, pray the best for me please. Last shot of xinyi & myself at hk cafe:

I can pull this through. Independently. 

My climb at work.

As usual. Sunday seems like the only day I've spare time to update bout my life. Had a rough week at work, really rough one but I'm surviving. I know I shouldn't be defeated by obstacles but I couldn't sleep & eat well for a couple of days lah. Just hoping such mistakes wouldn't come anymore, I'm traumatized.

My face uh... getting fatter everyday sigh. Cannot settle leh. :'(

So looking forward for the incoming public holidays. Like national day, hari raya. For the first time in my working life I get to enjoy public holidays. I used to appear at work every other day when the holiday comes. Now is the time to give myself a good short break. & I'm suppose to clear my 5day block leave by sept but I've no khakis during that month to go overseas with! It's all the timing that clashes our leaves. WHY O WHY is it so tough to arrange a couple of days for the trip! Ohwells.

Some more random photos my batchmates tagged me on fb:

Part of my daily dosage to keep my work going. (:

Bull's work.

It's Sunday. The week ended better than the previous. Still in the progress of keeping up with the workload, dealing with stress ain't easy feat. Mummy finally came back from aussie 2 nights ago, I suspect she used the money I gave her to buy rubbish back home. No one in the family drinks, she buys for no reason, always.

Lek ning came back for a short break & finally we had time to meet up for dinner. & to my convenience, they came near my workplace to eat at pow sing. That was my friday night with my girlfriends.

At least 13 years of friendship & counting.... (:

Kailin couldn't make it due to work, damn. Nevertheless, we had so much to catch up. Everyone is doing individually. From us heading to school in our high-waist polka dots skirts & oversized uniforms sharing our inside jokes were the times we were really young. Those days were... different. It's our conversations that still stays the same. Like what brenda says, to 10 more years of friendship!

Good food & companions for a friday night is good enough. Though I had work the following morning, headed desserts bowl and bump to familiar faces before heading home. 

It's gonna be a busy week coming ahead. Zouk booked me one week in advance, seriouslyyyy. Sunday is Yong en's baby girl one month. Where got time to rest like that? Sigh

Rough week.

Hi sunday evening. I'm hit with quite a bad obstacle yesterday at work. I've got a cash discrep of 450 at the end of the day of work. Found out I actually gave out more cash when customer came to do exchange with me. Thankfully the money got back, but I'm speechless bout my carelessness. I've no idea what made me not check my cash. I tried so hard but I just can't do my job well.

It's so hard for me to be on my own like this, but each time I'm always hit with issues like this. Why won't things go easy on me. This is so tough, so tough. I've no one to rely & it sucks totally. Cried & fell asleep on the same day after work. I can't believe i dreamt bout my work even during my nap.Waking up sub consciously thinking if it's time for work or if I overslept. I couldn't rest with a peaceful mind. Spending the rest of my wkend for a short run to clear my thoughts. Fortunately it did kinda help and funshion ended my night.

Menses finally came after it delayed for a week! Ohgad, when was the last time my menses came so late? And it's making me so lethargic now. I just hope these cramps wouldn't last till tmr at work please? I've got a battle to fight on. May the odds be ever in my favour. Amen.

Working life.

It's almost 11pm and here I am lying down on my bed after watching some catch up drama shows. Feels good to come home with a couple of hours to spend with my dogs. Thank God dad is home and fed the dogs, so I don't have to rush home after work. Had dinner at chomps with colleagues. Gaad, such working environment is a no-no, too much good food! :'( Work is tiring and stressful. I'm still tryna get used to the working environment. Praying for nothing else but a smooth working day & sufficient rest.

Hi.

Look at this silly head jumped up on the chair & couldn't get down. She just stared at me like this with the ball in her mouth and waited for me to save her:

Actually I'm so guilty not having time to accompany them when I'm not home most of the time. However, I really crave for steamboat & decided to meet up with friends for a wholemeal steamboat & dessert over at bugis. When was the last time my stomach feels like exploding?

At ah chew for desserts:

Seriously couldn't sleep cos I was feeling too bloated. Slept at 1am & I could barely open my eyes. I swear my eyes were closed while bathing in the morning till I had to put make up on. Yes it was that bad. I shan't blog more I wanna play with my bitch as she's ignoring me now cos I bought her milk bones! Catch you soon. (: