I've broken down in public again today while I was on the train back home from class. Tried so hard to hold back my tears in the midst of class thinking bout what the surgeon said of boyboy's condition.
Drove all the way to jurong to speak to boyboy's surgeon. Unfortunately it's pretty much pointless cos his cancer cells is gonna grow rapidly even with the removal. We're working on his chemotherapy now but there are just too much measures to take. I've pages of pages of guidelines & protocols to read up. Things I've need to be aware on how toxins the therapy is gonna be. Wearing of gloves when handling his poops/pees & making sure my other animals doesn't come in contact with them. Discarding bedsheets with leakage of his pee as well. There's so much commitment & not mentioning how much are these gonna cost.
Just speaking with the surgeon alone this morn cost me 180bucks. & im looking at weeks of blood tests / urine tests / ultrasounds / chemo protocols etc etc...
I'm seriously exhausted. & yet the surgeon is telling me my boy's left with a couple of months after so much that we are doing. My studies are equally frustrating trying to keep up. ARGH.
I don't know what else more I can do to make him a happy boy. All I could was to hug him in my arms tonight & my tears start rolling again. I just wanna hold on tighter.
Tighter to keep him close.
We know the day's gonna come.
We just don't wish to.
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