I wanna scream.

I've so many motherfucking problems coming up lately rlly. 

Every single night that I sleep, there are 101 worries up in my head I just couldn't sleep in. 

It's tough catching up with classes that I've missed while I was away, the modules are one of the more taxing ones. I've got no idea what alien language lecturers are talking bout. 

Thanks to my off day, I've finally manage to settle personal matters. Spent 2hrs just over the phone with my dog's general vet. & then separately to ring up another specialist surgeon to make an appt. Extremely grateful to my manager's understanding for allowing me to take last min's urgent leave for 2 days to handle my dog's issue. 

This is rlly stressful I just couldn't work/study well. At the same time, I've family issues to deal with. 

Everyday it's bout whether my dog is gonna eat or not. & every morn that I wake up, I'm worrying until I'm home from work to see if my dog eats for the day. If he does, it feels like I've lifted a huge rock on my shoulder FOR THE DAY. The cycle continues daily.

It's a lot of mental strength that I've to manage & learning how to balance all of them tgt. I'm sure there must be a way out, but for now I'm praying for a miracle. 

It breaks me to see how frail boyboy looks everyday. It's becoming worse. & I found white poops in the kitchen aft I came home frm school earlier on.

White poops. 

WHAT ARE WHITE POOPS. 

I've never seen anything like that in my entire life.

I'm losing it. I've lost it.

I wanna scream I'm breaking it.