Controlling my tears & trying to feel at my best whenever I'm at work is how I've been feeling for the past days. I keep telling myself no matter what happens, I should not let anything affect my performance at work. Unfortunately, for some reasons I do not know why, overheard colleague gossiping bout me rlly made me feel lousy. Nobody knew how hard I try to keep my tears away & the one I needed the most is always not there for me.
I ask myself time & time again why did I indulge myself into matters but at the end of the day it doesn't pay. I've no one to blame but to always forgive & always having this soft spot for the ones I love. Now I ask myself, so is this all worth at the end of the day.
Every time that negative thoughts screw in, I constantly tell myself so what if i found out he's got someone new, it's just a matter of time. Nobody knew how tough I've been telling myself to be strong. Whether or not I found love, I touch my heart & I know I gave my all. & if others doesn't appreciate me for loving, I know I've done my part.
Many years passed, many times I've been heartbroken. I always believe I don't have to find love but when it reaches me, it fails again. I ask myself what exactly do I deserve all these treatments? I guess even my dogs at home treats me better. I've walked out of misery once, I'll do it again twice. I hope I don't have a third time. Wish me the best.
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