Picking the pieces.

Very much that I wanna get up on my feet to continue with the working days & the school days which is starting very soon, my body couldn't take it anymore.

Back to the days of not eating & slping well when I got myself better. One whole string of mishaps that I had people whom I thought always protects me are backstabbing me. Never would I want to imagine how did I survive the day without food & just feeling so fearful what's happening. I swear with my life I was gaddamn terrified. Ironically, the one who's suppose to protects me from all harm is the one making me feel the worst. Until now, it doesn't make sense to me why is this my fault when I was the one being told. 

However I told myself, rmb those that brought you down today sharlene. For taking my trust for granted & took me as a fool. You guys had no idea how y'all broke my heart. I had enough of the lies. I wish y'all well in your dark society that I'll never get involved with. 

So much bout the sufferings, I'm still not done & over it with. Sadly, puking & diarrhoea has been what kept me occupied through the wkends. Oh, & tgt with my cramps. I felt like I'm dying anytime with hardly any strength. Everything just combo tgt ya. & I got so pissed. It's like I'm crying for pain physically & mentally. I can go crazy. Then again, I check my surroundings & check again, who's there when times like these I needed help. 

My face white as sheet I drag my feet & cab to work thinking sat will be manageable tho I'm unwell. Totally forgetting I've switched my sat previously with nana i made a wasted trip to work & my colleagues told me to go home looking how pale I was. I rlly have no idea what has gotten into me. Why did I get myself into sucha mess. I don't even recognise myself anymore. I just want to feel better, can I? Please.? 

I just wanna recover fast & be back on track. Right now I'm heavily on medication cos I convinced the doctor awhile ago not to jab me as he's afraid I'll vomit my meds & it's not gonna heal me. This is so torturing, I hate myself. Argh sharlenelau, fighting~!!