I cried with all my remaining strength I could to tell myself to stop loving this man I thought I knew. Today, I kissed each of these with my eyes shut & tears rolling down to bid the last goodbye. Goodbye to the man, I never knew. Never knew how heartless he'll be abusing the trust I gave him.
I used to always tell my friends how grateful I have him being honest with me. I feel carefree when I can always allow him go wherever he wants just informing me he's out with friends. All that has happened, he's just one of them that I couldn't trust anymore. All along I only knew our issues could always be solved if we wanted to. I guess this is the fate that allows me to see his true self when things got ugly.
Why too is it my fault knowing the truth when I was told? Why was I blame when nobody knew how much I struggled knowing I was being lied right in my face from the one who's suppose to matter the most? The times when I was critised & discrimination hurting my pride, has anyone ever know how I feel deep down despite the fact that I know the truth.
If always being there no matter how tired I am during the night doesn't shows how much I could love. Every night that I've never rejected watching running man, going for supper when you complain you're hungry again, & to just even sit in the dining watch you eat no matter how tired I am, shows I'm someone you will never want to meet breaks my heart hearing you say.
& if each time you'll say you're feeling down/stress at work that I always try to be there for you as much as I could to show you my support is being considered the worst girlfriend, tell me what should I do. Of all the times that we've argued, you blame me for ordering the wrong food & all I could do is to sit there silently to cry after having a day at work, how did I forgive you when you hug me & apologised.
Through the times when I've ever right reason to be angry with you, you didn't show the slightest compromise & in turn compared me with your ex that she wouldn't behave like how I did.
All that I've done, cabbing in the middle of the night to your place bcos I'm worried of your fever was one of my worst night ever. I've never swallowed so much insult when all I did was to care for you. So much so much tears that I shed for you, look what you've done to destroy me.
Every single moment that we're tgt, believing or not. I've cherished the times all I could. I've always been thankful with all the showering of love when things are still fine. I knew things will go wrong the moment when I decide to give you my heart. They never fail to trample on it. It has always been like that. From day 1, I knew I was just a replacement. & until the end of it, I still am. Replacement of your loneliness, replacement of your image of your ideal girlfriend. Lastly, someone else is gonna replace me. I find myself the biggest joke how did I even believe I was his whole & that he wouldn't want anyone else to be with me. Whether rain or shine, he'll stand by me. I'm so ashamed of myself.
How stupid of you sharlene, you're real dumb. & to those who backstab me, thank you. (:
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