"You deserve it."

I've been thinking of the words used on me lately.

"You're fucking the worst girlfriend ever."

"You're so difficult to love."

"Go find someone who can accept your attitude everyday."

I never had anyone who would ever use such words on me. I've been forgiving & trying to forget all of the negative comments I get each time we argued. I've got the worst. 

I guess it was the last straw that I finally realised no matter how I try to forgive, these words will not stop coming. 

I've spent hours thinking why do I even deserve to be judge like that. To be compared with girls that I hadn't even seen. To always make me feel lousy & inferior. Nobody actually knows all these deep down has been affecting me a lot. I try to always convince myself he didn't mean this way but does anyone out there knows how much these words have cut me deeply?

Never on earth did anyone ever said such harsh & ugly words to say me. I've done nothing utterly wrong. The cut on my hand makes my heart break even more each time I've been reminded of. I wish you could understand my pain. Unfortunately no. This thus proven bout my decision. I've no reason to keep someone who always uses such words to discriminate me like I'm the worst person on earth, & not there for me when he's the reason why I'm not eating.

Couldn't believe what you've said that night, but I'm not anyone to be judge with anyone else. You're not here to love.

& lastly, I don't deserve it.